A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A HOMEBOY
“A FICTIONAL STORY AND NOTHING MORE”
YA LEVANTATE FLOJO (GET UP LAZY), boom boom boom, pounding knocks on my bedroom door accompanying mi Jefita’s (mom’s) wake up call.
Estoy bien madreado (I got a mean a*s hangover) from staying out late with the homies, y mi choya (and my head) still spinning from those frios (coolies) we blazed up.
Boom boom boom, APURALE QUE YA ESTA EL DESAYUNO (hurry up, breakfast is ready) she calls out from the other side of the door.
Ok ok, I’m up Jefa, but my eyes keep squinting trying to adjust to the early morning sunlight, finally con un brinco en caliente (with a quick jump) I get off from my bed. Otro dia mas, chingado (another fockin’ day), I knew I should of called it quits early, ni pedo (oh well).
Le entro al agua (I hit the shower), brush my teeth, then I check out la barba y el mostachon (the goatee & mustache), a clip here and a clip there to get it all straight lookin’.
Le caigo a la mesa (I head out downstairs) and as I pass by my jefita, me da un jalon de greñas (she pulls on my hair).
Ouch that hurts Jefa, what’ I do now?
NO TE HAGAS EL IDIOTA (don’t pretend), YA TE HE DICHO DE QUE NO VENGAS A LA MESA EN CALZONES (I’ve told you a thousand times not to show up at the table in underwear), QUE FALTA DE EDUCACION ES ESA? (what manners are those?)
Oohh Jefa, I don’t want to wrinkle up mis tramos, lla sabe (my clothes, you know how it is).
CUALES TRAMOS NI QUE TRAPOS (what clothes and what rags), QUE EJEMPLO LE ESTAS DANDO A TUS HERMANOS? (what example are you giving to you brothers?), MIRA NOMAS ENSEñANDO TODO LO PRIVADO (look at you, showing all you privates), QUE BONITO TE MIRAS, EH! (don’t you look so decent, huh!).
Mi carnalito y carnalilla se las curan (my lil bro’ & sis’ start cracking up), as she gives me a coscorron (nuggy).
Ok ok Jefa, I wont do it again, vengase pa’ aca mi viejita chula, mua mua (come over here my precious lil’ old lady). I throw my arms around her and start kissing her on her cheek.
VIEJITA TU ABUELA (old lady your granma’), YA NO ESTES DE BARBERO Y SIENTATE A TRAGAR QUE SE ENFRIA EL DESAYUNO (quit being a kissa*s and sit down and eat before your food gets cold).
After breakfast, I go back upstairs and get into mis tramos (my kakies), all nicely creased, then I throw on my shiny calcos (shoes), y por ultimo me peino la greña (and lastly, I comb my hair), dang I look firme (cool), I say to myself as I look into the mirror. Chhooowwww, look out ladies, here comes el vato mas vergon, orale pues (the baddest hunged mofo, watch out).
It is 7:30 A.M. and time to hook up with a ride to school, so I start walking to the main Avenue.
Lets see who passes by y me da un raite (and gives me a lift), if not then maybe I’ll run into that firme morrita (fine young lady) that moved in down the block, man she’s fine.
I pass by her pad’ but I don’t see her, no sign of her or the friend she walks with.
Chingado (sh*t), no se me hizo hoy (ain’t my luck), lla comenze de malas (the day is starting out wrong), I say to myself as I keep strollin’ along.
Then una ranfla (a ride) pulls over on the other side of the calle (street).
Orale, es mi compa (is my homie) El Hapo, in his clean 64' already full of rucas (ladies).
APURALE ESE (hurry it up fool), he yells out to me, I AIN’T GOT ALL DAY, HURRY UP ESE BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND AND LEAVE YOUR SORRY A*S.
Me las curo (I trip out) as I stroll down takin’ my sweet a*s time before I jump in.
Mira mira mira (yeah yeah yeah), who you tryin’ to rush ese, you know your ugly a*s will need help with all these pretty señoritas, that’s why you pulled over.
ANDALE SI WEY, COMO NO (yeah right, fo’ sure), GET IN AND SHUT YOUR TRAP ALREADY.
Q-vo (what up) ladies, yo soy (I’m) El Chino, which one of you no es celosa? (is not the jealous type?)
Fock that was a quick a*s ride, apenas la estaba armando (I was barely gettin’ started) but already in the pinche (fockin’) parking lot del escuelin (of school).
Ahi las guacho al rato (catch you ladies later). They smile back at me and blow me a kiss as they disappear inside the admin building.
QUE ONDAS ranker (what up fool), TE QUEDASTE BIEN CLAVADO (they left you all horny), El Hapo says to me and laughs out loud, PINCHE LOVER BOY.
Fock you ese, who you callin’ a ranker, better show some respect fool before I slap your silly a*s and wipe that smile off your joto (sis*y) face too.
CALMATE WEY (chill out), DON’T TRY TO ACT ALL CABRON (bad a*s) WITH ME AND LETS GO FIND THE HOMIES ESE.
We find the Homies kicking back over by the bleachers at the track run.
Que ondas mis Locos? (how's my crazies?), que rollo estan tramando? (what goes?)
WHATS UP CHINO, JUST KICKIN’ IT HOLMES says El Wizard.
EY CHINO, HEARD YOU GOT SOME GOOD YESCA CARNAL (good smoke bro').
Simon, traigo unos tokes de (yup, got a couple of joints of) purple hair.
PUES QUE ESPERAS, DALE FUEGO (so what chu waitin’ for, light it up).
We get all stoned before we go our separate ways. I walk inside and head over to my homeroom, too late for first period, gonna have to forge la Jefita’s signature mañana (tomorrow).
As I’m walking down the hallway, this leva (punk a*s) who passes by me, calls out AQUI PARA LA GRANDE TROPA (here stands LGT) -an enemy varrio of ours.
The front up can not go unanswered and turning around I call out my varrio, Puro Varrio STREET SINNERS Nomas Y Que! ( Only VSS Rules and What of it!)
Sobres, luego luego nos trenzamos un tiro, a puro madrazos bien tendidos (right away, we start dumping, all clean fists), until someone gives the word TRUCHA (heads up), AHI VIENE EL GUARUDA (here comes security).
We stop throwing trompos (blows) and head for the nearest exit.
AL RATO ranker (later f*agot), WE’LL FINISH THIS LATER the leva says to me.
Fock you pinche chavala (fuckin’ dike), damn right this ain’t over, se te va caer el chante ranker (the roof is gonna fall on you, punka*s).
Lunch time comes around, and when I get to my Homies, they already heard the news.
ORALE VATO (right on homie), TE AVENTASTE UN TIRO CON ESE ranker DE LA LGT? (heard yo got down with that fool from LGT?) Says to me the homeboy EL STOMPER.
Simon (fo’ sure), the fool tried to act hard on me, pero le puse en su madre (but I whooped his a*s good). Pinche security saved his a*s, but I ain’t done with him yet. Motherfocker is going to regret having messed with me, just wait ‘til I run into his lil’ punk a*s again.
ESTAS CABRON PINCHE CHINO (right on big homie), JUST KEEP TWO SET OF EYES OPEN ‘CAUSE YOU KNOW HOW THEM LEVAS BE PLAYIN’ SNEAK ATTACK CARNAL.
No worries, ese pendejo (that fool) is just a big mamon chupa vergas (big d*ck s*cker), no es nada (he ain’t sh*t), just a big sh*t talker.
Que ondas Homie (what up holmes), I’m focking hungry, think I’ll head over and get me some refin (grub).
I’LL WALK WITH YOU ESE, GET ME SOMETHING FOR MYSELF, THAT GRIFA (herb) YOU BLAZED UP THIS MORNING ME TIENE CON LAS (has me with the) MUNCHIES ALL MORNING, GOOD FOCKIN’ SHIT ESE, WHERE YOU GET IT AT?
Mi primo (my cuzz) got it special delivery from his connect, got a couple of keys, if you want I’ll hook you up tonight?
ORALE, SOUNDS GOOD ESE.
We walk into the hallway that leads to the cafeteria, with a couple of other homies following behind, as we come out at the other end, fock, we run into a big a*s crowd of levas from LGT.
No chance for nada, nos brincaron en chinga (no chance for anything, they jumped us on the spot), blows came from all directions, down I go, my head starts feeling like a bell being rung, I try to get up but son muchos (they’re too many) and they gang up on me, I kick and pull and cuzz at the motherfockers, then all of a sudden some let up gives me the break needed to get back on feet.
Turns out some vatos from an allied varrio LOST BOYS jumped in to back us up, making it more even.
The word runs out to our homies, y se dejan caer en chinga (and they speed on down), y la bronca se arma en grande (and the rumble grows).
Putazos por donde quiera (blows flyin’ everywhere), then one of the levas pulls out una punta (an icepic) and shanks one of the vatos from LBS, then more levas pull out fileros (blades), but by now la pinche placa llego a cagar el palo (the focken pigs arrived & crashed the party), this was the signal to break and split.
We run out and disperse; I make it to the back street and jump into the ranfla (ride) of this ruca (lady) whom I knew from before.
I turn around and see another of my homies running down the side street.
Ey Susie, head up that way and lift him up simon?
YA SABES PAPI CHULO, LO QUE TU QUIERAS (you know it, whatever you want), she says to me as she turns the wheel around.
Most of us make back to the varrio, pero unos torcieron (but some got busted).
Los marranos (the pigs) are all over the hood, got to lay low and stay off the streets.
We decide for us all to head for el chante (home) and prep up for some payback tonight, we will meet at EL BOSCO’s pad, para una junta primero (for a war meeting).
I start making my way to my canton (pad), staying trucha (alert), and keeping the radar on. I cut through yards and alleys; jump a fence here and there, go through some apartments and keep close to whatever cover there may be, ‘til finally I make it home.
I’m in luck, no one is home, head straight for the fridge and grab me una birria (a beer) from my pops don’t touch pack.
Ni modo (sorry but), this is a special occasion, and I down it with a couple of big gulps.
I feel the adrenaline still flowing, and my heart is still beating rapidly.
Got to calm down I say to myself, let me kill this roach I got left, maybe that’ll settle my scared a*s down some.
El tiempo (time) ticks on by, then I realize that I got blood all over me and mis tramos estan echos garras (and my clothes are all in rags).
Fock these were my new Imperials too, all scratched up now.
Fockin’ sh*t, all because of that pinche leva mamavergas (fockin’ punk d*ck s*cker), I think to myself as I head upstairs and straight for the shower.
Me tiro en la cama (I crash out in my bed) and my head goes into a spin.
Un remolino (a whirlpool) that causes me nausea as I replay the tape of that afternoon.
I see that vato from LBS being shanked in the chest and dropping with the impact, I see myself on the floor getting kicked and stomped on, unable to get up, I see the placas reaching for me with them long arms and swinging at me with their bats.
Suddenly, I hear the door downstairs and my Jefita’s voice calling out to me –CHINO ESTAS ARRIBA? VEN PA’ ACA ‘BAJO QUE QUIERO HABLAR CONTIGO (Chino are you upstairs? Come down, I want to speak with you).
Oh sh*t, don’t sound good, did she already get a call from school?
I’m focked, me va a dar un buen sermon (she’s going to give me the lecture).
Let’s just hope she doesn’t say anything to Pop's.
Nah, I ain’t so lucky, el ruco (the old man) always has a way of finding out about sh*t.
Sure enough, she knows and goes on to give me the lecture from a to z, but I ain’t hearing her, my mind is not there, keep thinking about tonight.
ME ESTAS ESCUCHADO? (you listening to me?), she snaps at me pulling on my front hairs. TU NO ENTIENDES NUNCA (you never think), TIENES QUE DEJAR DE ANDAR EN PLEITOS Y DROGAS (you have to stop getting into fights and drugs), ESO NUNCA TE VA A LLEVAR POR BUEN CAMINO (all that will only lead you through a bad path), LO UNICO QUE VAS A LOGRAR ES QUE TE ENCIERREN (you’ll only accomplish getting locked up) O PEOR QUE TE MATEN (or worse, getting killed), ESO ES LO QUE TU QUIERES VERDAD? (is that what you want?).
On and on she continues, heard it all before, and even though she is right and I know it, I just can’t pull away from the varrio and the homies.
I think to myself, its too late for me anyways, I’ve gone too far, can’t back out now, what will the homies think?
Chale (nah’ man), I ain’t no ranker, pull yourself together man, keep your head up and get it together, don’t step back y no la pienses mas (and don’t think about it).
Finally darkness creeps up, it is time, I head to my closet and with my filero (blade), I pick off a wood plank from the floor under the rug. Aqui estas (there you is), I say to my fusca (gat) as I pull it out.
Got to go with me on a ride tonight mija (babe), don’t fail me, alright?
I arrive at BOSCO’s pad’ and walk along the side of the house to the back yard, alli esta toda la raza calmando (all the homies are there waiting).
WHAT KEPT YOU CABRON, YOU’RE FOCKIN’ LATE, says the homies.
TE ESTAMOS CALMANDO DESDE HACE RATO LOCO (we been waiting on you for a while now).
I’m here now, y estoy listo para darle en la madre a esos putos (and I’m ready for the ride).
Que ondas, como nos dejamos caer el jalecito? (so how we gonna get on down?)
WACHATE HOLMES (check it out), WE GOT THE WORD THAT THOSE FOOLS ARE HANGING OUT AT THIS “T” ALLEY OFF OF 213 STREET.
LES CAEMOS EN DOS RANFLAS (we send in two carloads), EACH CON PILOTO Y DOS GATILLEROS (each with the pilot and two gunners).
ONE GOES IN POR AQUI (through here) & THE OTHER FROM THIS SIDE.
The homeboy draws out the plan on the ground with a stick in hand.
THAT WAY WE DON’T CROSS OUR FIRE, THE THIRD CARLOAD WILL WAIT OUTSIDE THE ALLEY ON THIS LAST EXIT AND WAIT TO PICK OUT ANY FOOLS WHO BREAK RANKS.
DESPUES SE ARRANCAN PA’ EL (then head for the) FREEWAY AND HEAD OUT TO LA CUEVA (the cave).
WE ALL AGREED?
A unanimous “ORALE, SIMON” (“Right on”) is heard from all the homies.
LOAD ‘EM UP, goes the word, and VIVA VARRIO SAINT SINNERS, throwing up signs the homies and I saddle up and head into battle.
My blood begins to warm up, anticipation and anxiety is all over me. No turning back now, it’s going down all the way, fock it, let’s get it over it, the words keep repeating in my mind.
Next morning I hear, boom boom boom YA LEVANTATE FLOJO, YA ES HORA DE PREPARARSE PARA IR A LA ESCUELA (get up lazy, it is time to get ready for school).